3 Days in Bangkok
Letter #26: A quick stop over in Thailand to eat as many noodles as I could get my grubby paws on.
3/27/23
I like Bangkok a lot so far. Somehow, it’s easier to digest than the major cities in Vietnam. Friends had told me it was super crazy, busy, packed, with chaotic traffic—but I’d say its 10 times calmer than Ho Chi Minh City. The massages are half the price, too.
The city feels modern and walkable. I’m staying in a hostel here that has a garden, outdoor bar, and a pool, which is great because I think this is one of the hottest places I’ve ever been in my life. 3 showers a day type of place. Thailand wasn’t originally on my itinerary, but it was cheaper to fly from Vietnam to Nepal with a long layover and direct flights into and out of Bangkok. So I decided to break up my travel time and fill up on street food.
I decided not to embark on any tours during my quick stint in Bangkok. The next 15 days I’ll be on a tight itinerary for my time in Kathmandu, Nepal and the Annapurna Base Camp trek. So I left my days in Bangkok wide open and lazy. I got a 90 minute Thai massage, saw a movie at the most luxury cinema I’d ever been to, and stopped by a random sample sale market of over 350 Asian brands. I stopped for noodles or rice whenever I felt like it—you can get a plate of Pad Thai, Pad See Ew, or Pineapple Fried Rice for 40-60 Thai Baht, which comes out to $1.17-1.76 USD.
One of the nights I went to dinner on Rambuttri Alley with some of the girls from my hostel room. Almost ALL of the guests at this hostel were from the Netherlands, and all of them were younger than me. The girls had just graduated from university, and are now traveling for a few months before they start their careers or move on to higher education. A practice that some young Americans take, but doesn’t seem as common as in Europe because of the crippling student loan debt so many Americans are faced with right out of college (myself included).
We shared about the comparisons of our languages and cultures. These girls were only 22 and 24, but were very mature, considering. When asked, they said they tend to see Americans as very “dramatic” and “extra”. I noticed how much I use my hands to gesture when speaking passionately about a topic. They said that, in English, it is very common to say “Hi, how are you?”—never just “Hello.” Sometimes they were unsure if they were actually supposed to respond to “How are you?” Does the person asking actually want to know? I laughed—they were right to question it—and explained that the other person is asking as a courtesy, expecting you to respond with “I’m doing well” or “Good!” Unless you’re my ex-colleague who would begin every morning by expressing that they were, in fact, “not good”, because of some one or some event that had already set them off that morning, thereby casting a shadow of miserable negativity over anyone within earshot. Every. Single. Morning.
So, no. When Americans ask “How are you?” they do not expect you to take the opportunity to complain about your day, but you can be honest if needed.
They also said, in Dutch, they would never say “Oh! I’m so sorry for you!” With the other person replying “Don’t be sorry!” I laughed at this, too—we do it all the time, and I had never thought about how it doesn’t really make sense. Why would someone be sorry for something that has nothing to do with them? I explained that it is a way to show compassion towards others, even though there is no real reason to take on any blame. They said sometimes Americans/Native English speakers come off as insincere, waving around compliments, apologies, and “I love you’s” so frivolously. I told them a story about how when I was in college, one of my co-workers had told a mutual friend that I came off as insincere because I gave out compliments so freely. It hurt my feelings—I remember it so clearly to this day—and from then on I kept my comments to myself around that person. But, actually, I tend to get compliments regularly because of the funky way I dress—it’s a conversation starter. I love how it feels to receive compliments, so if I’m thinking something nice about someone, it’s a kindness to reciprocate and let them know. The girls agreed with me, and said they wished that was more common in their culture because it would make anyone’s day to receive a compliment. We laughed because I had paid each of them, separately, a compliment upon meeting them. I guess it’s my way of breaking the ice and helping others feel at ease around me. I’d say 90% of the time I actually mean what I say. And, to be fair, each of these girls were so young and beautiful, that of course they all deserved to hear something nice.
Lastly, they said that if they use the term “I love you” to their friends or family, they say it in English. That saying it in Dutch is reserved solely for your romantic partner, and is used sparingly. I happen to say “I love you” freely to all my friends and family. They agreed that was another part of American culture they liked—how openly affectionate we are with our words. Much like the British couple I had met in Hoi An, and Eric from Germany, they were surprised to like me as much as they did. I guess I continue to squash the American stereotype.
We ended our dinner around 11:30pm—about 2 hours past my bedtime. Bangkok was still blazing its heat outside. The girls decided to go out for another drink on a rooftop bar, so I said my goodbyes and headed back to the hostel. I’d be starting my trek later that week so I wanted as much downtime and rest as possible.
I heard them come home at 5:30am 🤣. We all woke up around 11am—they had gone out dancing and met some Brazilian football players. I told them I was proud of them for having fun on my behalf, experiencing Bangkok nightlife the way it is meant to experienced.
Some personal observations about Asia:
Although I found Western Toilets in most places, Squat Toilets are the norm in Asia. And just about every bathroom will have a bucket of water with a cup under a spigot, where you can fill the cup and splash water down the toilet once you’re finished with your business. Likewise, the Western Toilets have a hose attached to the wall with which you can wash down the toilet…or yourself. 🤷🏻♀️
You won’t find normal, large square napkins in restaurants. Some places will have a little box with small tissues on the table—or not at all. Sometimes you’ll have to grab a couple of those tissues on your way to the bathroom, as well—many bathrooms don’t have toilet paper.
Depending on the country, “personal space” isn’t really I thing. I noticed this years back while flying in China—people stand directly on your heels, bumping into you as the line progresses. It is normal for people to cut the line. It’s not intended to be rude, there are just SO many people that it’s crowded and people don’t really pay attention to whether it’s rude or not. VERY different from Western cultures where we take huge offense to being skipped. In the airport in Da Nang, Vietnam, I was on my way to the escalator to head to security. This older woman was with her family, hanging all over her daughter (no personal space), and it was clear she was not very familiar with escalators. She stumbled a bit when she stepped on, and proceeded to slowly fall backward…onto me. I held her up until she regained her balance. She never once looked back to see who helped her or say thank you. And it was so funny to me, she wasn’t being rude, it’s just that Asia is SO crowded people don’t even pay attention to what strangers they may be touching.
Bodily noises while eating—totally ok and actually encouraged! I had heard years ago that it considered a compliment to slurp your noodles, to burp, to smack your food, etc. That it shows how much you’re enjoying the meal someone so lovingly prepared for you. I struggle with this—I am a quiet eater and appreciate others being clean and quiet while eating as well. Sometimes I can pay it no mind, sometimes I have to slip in my Airpods. Coughing, sneezing, blowing snot rockets onto the sidewalk? Also totally acceptable.
Drinking hot water. I think most Asians think Westerners are crazy for wanting ice water wherever we go (personally, I prefer room temperature tap water). Hot water is said to aid in digestion and remove toxins. But, yes, you can expect to be offered hot water most places you visit!
Car horns are used to warn others. This was FASCINATING to me. Coming from NYC, where drivers lay on their horns the split second the light turns green is one of the most irritating things about the city. In Asia? Drivers give a quick honk of the horn to let other drivers and pedestrians know they are rounding a corner, overtaking a lane, etc. Horns are used in a friendly and communicative way, it is so refreshing!
It feels REALLY safe here (at least the countries I have been in). People aren’t really committing crimes. When I ask in each country if you can expect a crime to be committed against tourists, they’ll respond that here and there you may have a scammer—someone who overcharges you in their shop or in their taxi. HA! Child’s play. It’s refreshing to be visiting places where I don’t have to worry about guns. 🤷🏻♀️ There is an account of human trafficking in some parts of Asia—that’s a different topic I would need to educate myself about further, but I wasn’t under the impression it happened much with foreigners. Likewise, you will see little police presence, and very little drug use. I witnessed a lot of homelessness in Bangkok, but very little in Vietnam and Bali.
Skin lightening. This one baffled me but I have a better understanding of it now. I first recognized this while visiting the Philippines in 2019. Similar to Western cultures, “fair” skin is glorified in many Asian cultures. Every mini mart you go into will have creams and serums promising to brighten/lighten skin. It’s hard to find a moisturizer here that does not have skin lightening properties! Skin bleaching is still a thing. It is not appropriate for me to exercise an opinion about lightening when I myself was born with fair skin, but, personally, I find darker skin very beautiful. I dedicate many long summer hours to sunbathing in order to get that sun-kissed tan, so it was hard for me to understand why many women with such beautiful shades of skin would want to change their natural color.
Cat-calling—not really a thing here. Men don’t ogle women like they do in many Western cultures. I had heard it’s more common the further west you go (like maybe in Sri Lanka & India?), but in China, Philippines, Vietnam, Bali…I didn’t experience men being inappropriate or paying me any mind at all. Maybe that’s just me 🤣, but it’s a nice change!
Any other observations about some Asian cultures that contrast what we are used to back home? Please share below! I’d love to discuss more about this topic.
Hey! Would you like to connect over creativity, self-growth, and problem-solving? Or just to have a virtual glass of wine or mocktail? Please book a time on my Calendly for us to chat! I can’t wait to see you. XOXO.
If you’re enjoying On the Road, please share with others who you may think would enjoy as well! As always, I love reading your comments and feedback. If you're not already subscribed, please click the button below so I can continue sending you weekly-ish stories and lessons while I travel. 🚙
Loved the insights from the women from Netherlands! And I feel you on the compliments piece. I do the same - maybe it’s a Midwest trait?
I had an old boss tell my about 10 years ago that I give out compliments too much to my direct reports. And that it inflated their ego - which kind of backfired on me. It’s such a hard balance! Because I love giving compliments and making people feel good.