Back in Pari...Again?!
Letter #72: I just can't quit this place! It's my own little slice of heaven in Italy. 🍰
9/2/23
Being back in Pari has been a surreal experience. I’m not sure if there’s been another time in my life where I actually had enough time to go back and explore a place further if it was something I was truly drawn to. I suppose I went back two years in a row to Taxco, Mexico, but even that was fleeting (only 4 or 5 days at a time), and I put so much purpose and intention behind my time there—I was having jewelry made—that it felt more like work than rest. It was a beautiful experience because it helped reconnect me with my gift of designing jewelry, but I’ll save that story for another time.
But Pari was so different. There was an intangible draw that made me want to come back. It’s not some bustling city with a million options for restaurants and a vibrant diversity of people, energy, and environment. In fact, Pari may be the direct opposite. It is steeped in sameness. The same people, the same bar, the same meals, the same grocery store. The beauty of life there is the sense of security in the predictability of each day, and the community of people that participate in it. That is ultimately what brought me back.
I could feel something ignite in me when Hilary and I first arrived. It made me want to spend more time here to see if what I was feeling was real. And apparently I’m not the only one. Whatever allure this place has affects many visitors. The foreigners I’ve met here (who all now own property and live here) laugh about how many serial extenders there are—people that come for 5 days, and end up staying for 10. Or come for one month and all of a sudden find themselves buying property.
Julie’s apartment is stunning. It’s open and airy, western sunlight flooding into each room. Herself originally from Belgium, she took care to honor the original stone walls and brick ceiling by leaving some areas exposed—mind you, this village was build in medieval times, and all the apartments are still encased in the ancient walls that surround the central piazza. Huge wood beams run the length of the room overhead. The place oozes character, giving the sense that it is so old I could not begin to wrap my mind around it.
She led me to my spectacularly large and yet cozy bedroom, my own bathroom, and immediately offered me a glass of wine to share on the balcony. Her instant warmth and ease in her welcome made me feel right at home. I’d spent at least 5 weeks living on private farms, and 4 of those weeks had me, at most times, feeling like I was walking on eggshells. So being in Julie’s home with Pixie, the sweetest pup I’ve ever met, felt like a breath of fresh air. I could feel myself letting my guard down, my body relaxing.
We called down a hello to Jenna and Daniela, who were sitting in the garden below us. How easy it was to run into friends here. While Julie and I sat on the balcony catching up, Todd stuck his head out from the apartment window above us and said “Hello, neighbor!” Another American accent here in Pari. I introduced myself from our seats below, and Julie invited Todd down for a pre-dinner beer. I was already so happy that I had new friends to spend time with.
Once the three of us had exchanged friendly banter and finished out drinks, we headed over to the bar for dinner. Julie showed us the “bodega” on our way, a space she had purchased and wants to design into a community center—a kitchen table type place where people can gather, learn from one another, and support each other.
The four of us girls (Jenna, Daniela, Julie, and myself) grabbed a table on the patio—I was back at Bar Ristorante le Due Cecche, and the pici pasta was calling my name. We ordered quickly to beat the rush of the first people arriving for the conference at The Pari Center—the bar would be out of service for meals for the following week as they’d be serving the 40 or so conference goers breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily.
We all took some time catching up, and of course I was peppering all 3 women with questions about how they found this place, but it was clear that I’d need to come to my own conclusions about why I decided to return. Many have arrived here because of The Pari Center and then fell in love with the community, so continued to come back. But that does not align with my own story for how I ended up here, and I was on a search to find some meaning, some way to explain it.
I loved being back here, sharing a meal with these ladies. There is an undeniable energy here, locals coming and going from the table, visitors gearing up for the conference that would begin the following evening. I was having moments of déjà vu from having dinner here with Hilary, on only my second day in Italy nearly 2 months prior.
I finished my wine and followed Julie and Pixie home around 11pm. I was so ready to sleep soundly in that big comfy bed. It was still hot that Sunday evening—August 27th, 2023—but there was rain in the forecast and a cold front moving in on Monday, so everyone was ready for the shift in weather. I was already feeling a bit sad that I would be leaving on Friday…
The following morning I woke up and decided to take Pixie on a long walk so we could both get some exercise. Jenna had told Hil and I last time we were here about a flat gravel road that runs through the woods that everyone lies to walk on. Julie pointed it out on the map, we packed a bag for Pixie, and the pup and I headed to my rental car. While she can allegedly run off leash down this gravel road, Pixie is such a precious being that I did not want to take any chances. So I left her safely tied to her leash as we got to know each other.
We walked about 2 hours and 20 minutes together. I was enjoying so much the exercise outdoors with her, with the stunning Tuscan landscape as the backdrop. There were tons of wild blackberry bushes to eat from, and I laughed at Pixie’s futile attempts to chase and catch the lizards scrambling across the road.
After we’d walked a couple miles into Belagaio (a nature reserve near Pari), we backtracked and walked through the neighboring village, Casale di Pari, before heading back to the car. Casale di Pari is only a 7 minute drive away and Hil and I hadn’t visited it the first time, so I decided to check it out. They have another charming town square, one market, and one restaurant. I had heard Trattoria da Rosanna was a good alternative for when we couldn’t eat at Barbara & Sandra’s in Pari, so I wanted to see where it was. It was closed on Mondays, but the outdoor seating along the square was so cute, so I set the intention to come back the following day.
Pixie and I returned to Pari after exploring Casale di Pari, and we stopped into Roberto’s to get some groceries for the next few days. The haul was very similar to what Hil and I had picked up back in July—tomatoes, nectarines, red onion, garlic, cheese, pasta, bread, and finocchiona (salami with fennel) 🤤. We walked the minute it took to get back to Julie’s apartment so I could shower. She was gone most of the day, meeting wtih some individuals in a town close to the sea for a regenerative agriculture project she was working on. So Pixie and I had the house to ourselves. I cooked up a pasta for lunch—something I would NEVER treat myself to in the US—and enjoyed it out on the balcony. It was so nice to be cooking again! I hadn’t cooked a meal for myself in 5 weeks and hadn’t realized how much I missed it.
After lunch I’m not really sure how I killed the time before Julie came home. I think I spent some time on my laptop, tried to journal a bit, and just enjoyed the solitude. She returned around 5pm and I had some wine open so we had a glass together on the balcony to unwind from the day. I ended up heating up my leftovers from lunch for dinner, and we headed to the piazza in the late evening to have a drink with Jenna, Daniele, and anyone else that had gathered.
The following morning I took Pixie back to Belagaio, but this time for a run. She ran 4 miles with me effortlessly, not even panting. I performed ok for not having run in over a week. During the run, Siri read a series of texts I was receiving from both Julie and neighbor Todd. Todd and Daniela were walking to Casale di Pari for lunch and wanted to see if I’d like to join. It was perfectly timed because I had brought my journal and intended to do some writing at Trattoria da Rosanna over lunch anyway. But I arrived in the town square by 11:15am, so Pixie snuggled into my lap and we sat outside for the next hour or so, waiting for our friends to arrive. I enjoyed a cappuccino and wrote in journal while Pixie relaxed in my lap after our long run.
Around 12:40pm, Todd and Daniela showed up with another man, Gary. Gary hails from Toronto originally, but is now living in Richmond, Virginia. And Todd used to live in Alaska and Texas, but is now settled down in both Ohio and Pari (where he bought one of the apartments about a year ago).
Lunch with these three strangers was fascinating to me. Admittedly, I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to relate with two older, retired white men from the US. I assumed our politics and world views would be opposite one another—boy, was I wrong. Many of the conversations we had were incredibly thought-provoking, and both men turned out to be compassionate, progressive, open-minded individuals. I felt at ease speaking to them about my own opinions, and learned quite a bit from their perspectives, as well. The explanation of their interest in the teachings of David Bohm at The Pari Center, and their gentle nature helped break down a stereotype I’d developed over the past few years when it comes to the older generation of white males in the US. Already, I was figuring out the reasons why I was meant to come back to Pari. I was witnessing a slower way of life, and healing some prejudices from my past.
My time with Daniela, discussing my Human Design Chart only further added to the growth I experienced in only a few short days when I returned to Pari. That was a fascinating time for me, and I wrote about it more in the post below. 👇🏻
Of course Pari deserves one more post, so stay tuned to hear about the remainder of my time there next week. ❤️
Hey! Would you like to connect over creativity, self-growth, and problem-solving? Or just to have a virtual glass of wine or mocktail? Please book a time on my Calendly for us to chat! I can’t wait to see you. XOXO.
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