Gili Air
Letter #16: Learning what my limits are. And all of them are bugs. 🪳
2/12/23: I’ve only been in Bali for one week and it already feels like a month has passed. It’s amazing how slow time can go when you’re in a new place (and completely foreign culture). I hadn’t felt like writing much because I was so focused on getting my bearings and feeling comfortable. My time in Ubud was lovely. Although packed with tourists and scooters whizzing by every half second, my modest hotel was tucked back from the chaos but still in the heart of the action. Ubud is a tropical rainforest paradise with a strong and beautiful Hindu culture oozing out of its pores.
I was looking forward to my beach stay on Gili Air Island, off the larger island of Lombok (which is not part of Bali). The islands are Muslim influenced instead of Hindu, so you see tons of street cats instead of dogs (which are considered a cleaner animal). I booked an inexpensive little beachfront bungalow for 8 days. After about 5 hours of travel by van and boat, I was a bit shocked at how rugged and underdeveloped the island was (I’ll be butchered for this because everyone you ask RAVES about Gili Air). The earthquake from 2018 and the impact of Covid affected this island tremendously and there is not enough influx of money for it to be where it once was. Abandoned resorts and trash was collecting in pockets all around the island. I learned this about myself with apartment hunting in New York. If my first impressions of an area leave me feeling a little sad or lonely, I have a hard time not giving into feelings of unhappiness that I cannot come back from—this is obviously something I either need to embrace about myself or learn how to overcome. The “resort'“ was bare bones but had a nice pool. The speaker in the front restaurant/reception area was broken, so the vibe felt like an eerie ghost town. But what could I expect for $15 a night for a private accommodation?
When I reached the bungalow, I checked out the living space…a little dark but doable. I looked into the open air bathroom—that I originally found very charming from the photos—and found 8 dead cockroaches on the floor. NOPE. Another thing I figured out I can’t deal with in New York, just ask my dear friend, Allison Lisell. I literally moved out of an apartment in Clinton Hill after being faced with 5 cockroaches in a week span on time, many of whom were not dead upon discovery.
The staff came to clean up the dead roaches, expressing that the rain often brings bugs into the living spaces. I was trying not to panic. I went to dinner at a nearby warung for some delish Tom Yum soup, and got back to my room around 8:30pm. The resort was at the end of a long stretch of beach, so not many lights or guests around, and just sort of a sad, deserted feel about it.
When I got into the room, I went to turn on a lamp and immediately stepped on half of a dead cockroach (not sure where the other half was). I yelped and went to the bathroom to grab the broom that I asked the staff to leave in the room for me so I could take care of any future roaches on my own. 😅 When I grabbed the trash can to sweep up the bug a HUGE spider ran out from under it. That sent me over the edge. I started hyperventilating, repeating over and over “I can’t do this I can’t do this.” I killed the spider with the broom (I’m sorry everyone I know it’s not the right reaction but I have horrible arachnophobia), and went back into the room. “Ok…I just won’t use the bathroom in the middle of the night. But maybe in the day I can get used to it.” I finally felt brave enough to go brush my teeth when I spotted another spider on the floor. TOO MUCH. IT IS TOO MUCH. I ran out to reception and told the guys “I am so so sorry but I can only stay one night. I’m just not strong enough for this.” They came to spray the bathroom when I saw what looked like mud on the bed sheet. They said “oh those are droppings from the geckos climbing around on the ceiling but they move around, they don’t usually stay.” 😑
I failed. I couldn’t even make it one night. I called my parents in a panic, craving emotional support for my ridiculous phobia, and decided to ring the boujiee resort across the island to see if they had an opening for the night. I couldn’t picture myself spending another 5 minutes in the bungalow. PinkCoco had an open room and sent a horse and cart to pick me up. One day, ask me to tell you my hysterical episodes over the tornado warning, the canoe trip, and “NO NO NEVER GO” at the water park. Bless my parents for putting up with my uncontrollable emotions.
Side Note: the use of horse and carts as the only means of transportation on the Gili Islands is criticized far and wide on the internet for animal cruelty—to be fair it does not look like a happy life for the horses. So I was really trying not to use them and just walk my bags for the 15-20 minutes it takes to get around the island. But it was 9:30pm at night, the island was pitch black, and I was not in a calm state of mind. I wish I could go back and do that whole day over again, make some different choices. I didn’t use the horse and cart for the remainder of my visit, just sweat it all out to and from the harbor to hotel. 🥵
I was pretty disappointed. This lovely Westernized resort was 5 times the price of the bungalow and now I ran the risk of blowing my budget if I can’t deal with simple accommodations. If I live like this, how could I expect to last another 7 months on what I had saved?! Also…what did I expect in a tropical place?! Of course there will be bugs. (To be fair, 11 bugs in less than 24 hours feels like a lot and New Yorkers are used to pests).
But anyway, PinkCoco was such an amazing, dreamy resort that I sucked it up, booked a total of 5 nights, and recuperated by nursing smoothie bowls on the perfectly clean, calm beachfront. Allison and I had to do this once when we were in the Philippines. We somehow ended up in a BS AirBnB condo in Cebu (why does everyone say go to Cebu?! 🫣) and I had horrible traveller’s diarrhea. So yeah, when in doubt, book an expensive Western resort and recover like a celebrity that’s been on a tour bender and in need of an escape from the press.
The timing was perfect because I got Bali Belly the next day. It’s very common, when traveling, for foreigners to be exposed to new bacterias that the digestive system isn’t yet familiar with. I, personally, have only ever experienced this in the Philippines and now in Indonesia. I took it easy, staying close to my hotel room, and decided to book 3 more nights at the same resort on Gili Trawangan Island. Everyone had said I wouldn’t like Gili T—it was a loud party island with too many people, but it is the most popular destination of the 3 Gili islands. I’m off the sauce anyway, so partying is not on my itinerary, but I figured at least if I was at a resort I was comfortable at I’d give the island a shot.
After some excellent advice from Alie Kadlac, I bucked up, booked my first co-working hostel (TRIBAL) in Canggu for 3 nights, and will check out other parts of Bali for the few three weeks, booking only 2-3 nights at a time so if I felt uncomfortable, I wasn’t overcommitted. I felt I could get back on track with the budget by throwing in some hostels, and this is all just one big experiment isn’t it? Things won’t always go according to plan.
I learned a big lesson on Gili Air—I’m finding my limitations. I can be pretty low maintenance and go with the flow. But now I know:
Open air bathrooms are an absolute non-negotiable. Indoor, enclosed bathrooms only.
I need decent WiFi. Being able to binge Season 2 of Emily in Paris while battling Bali Belly in my room was amazing. And it helps to quickly connect with loved ones when I need emotional support.
Mid-priced accommodations need to have free breakfast to help me balance out the cost.
Free water stations…I refuse to spend money on bottled water. 😂
Instead of feeling sad that I might run out of money before I got to Europe, I decided to consider alternative ways of traveling while there, where everything will be much more expensive. Trusted Housesitters unfortunately hasn’t pulled through with any availability for me, but Hannah Hubanks had sparked my curiosity to explore WWOOFing in Europe. Who wouldn’t want to stay on an Italian farm and help make cheese and olive oil?! Maybe many of you wouldn’t. But that sounds like the opposite of what my old life was like, so I’m game. I just need the hosts to promise me there won’t be spiders…or scorpions…or snakes. 🕷❌
Multi-Purpose Advice: I like to go back and re-read past journal entries to see what’s changed in my behavior and perspective, look for common themes, and express gratitude from where I was to where I now am. On 2/21/22 I had an entry in my journal about my dad. I was visiting my parents in Milwaukee for my mom’s birthday. I was venting to him, ultra stressed at work, looking for some solace that things will get better. He told me I was “stretching myself to understand my capabilities, to see how far I can be pushed.” Turning lemons into lemonade. It’s funny, reading this journal entry a year later, I was able to apply that same lesson to my current situation. I’m learning what my limitations are. I’m testing the waters, experimenting, researching. Some things will work out and I’ll surprise myself. Others will be an epic fail and I’ll avoid them next time.
Update: Tonight I leave Bali to begin my Vietnam journey in Hanoi! Next week will feature 2-3 newsletters as well, as I still have so many amazing stories from Bali, so stay tuned! Also I randomly put on this Fiona Apple album while I type to all of you, and it still checks.
Hey! Would you like to connect over creativity, self-growth, and problem-solving? Or just to have a virtual glass of wine or mocktail? Please book a time on my Calendly for us to chat! I can’t wait to see you. XOXO.
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Hahah thank you Sones!! I think the lines are blurred between what is considered civilized and what is not when you’re traveling...so I’m having to learn how far I can push myself! 😆🙈
Don’t be so hard on yourself!! There’s a difference between being a brat and being civilized. That was a completely normal reaction, to be skeeved out by that 1st hotel. You’re a trooper!