How to quit your job (when nothing else is lined up)

Letter #58: Technically this is Article #1 for Write of Passage, the online course I'm enrolled in to see how I can take my voice even further AND meet some brilliant folks from around the world.

Sordevolo, Italy

I was wholly burnt out. By the fall of 2022, I’d been with the same company for nearly 10 years. I was dragging my feet to get to work every day, dreading spending another 9+ hours of my soul being sucked out under those fluorescent office lights. I felt like a hamster on a wheel in a cage, the monotony of the days slipping by in an unnatural environment.

Upper management was never satisfied with the work their employees had done, and co-workers were forced to throw one another under the bus in order to get ahead. It was another full-time job just to keep my feelings of fight or flight suppressed, and power through the unhappiness of each day. 

I had paid down any accrued debt from my younger years and began to experience more financial freedom, but I still felt the oppressive weight of the perceived need to toil for more money. I just wanted to run. I wanted to jump on a plane and head for somewhere, anywhere, to experience a life of emotional freedom. By the end of the week, I was so drained from coping with the emotional stress that I felt I was losing grip of the person I wanted to be, of the person I could be.

The type of person that has time to think about what she likes (what a novel thought!). To spend time with her parents. To cook healthy meals and exercise. To expend her creative energy. The type of person who doesn’t dread waking up for work every day. I hadn’t seen that person in years. In fact, I’m not sure I had ever met that person.

I talk—A LOT. I talk things out with almost anyone that will listen with an open heart. And, so, I began to talk with those that are closest to me. I didn’t know what else to do but to desperately seek the answer to “what the hell am I going to do? I can’t keep going on like this.”

I had re-written my résumé and been applying to fully remote jobs. I either received the standard “we’re proceeding with another candidate”, or worse, no response at all. I had shipped out my résumé with a brief description of what I was looking for—with feigned enthusiasm—to 50 colleagues over email without any fruitful opportunities arising in return. I was stumped about where to turn next, and craving a monumental change.

Call it a rock bottom if you will, but the obvious path of “find a new job!” wasn’t working out for me. Over a brunch conversation with one of my closest friends, I was reeling about how to salvage my work situation without having another job lined up. Her response? “Quit anyway.”

About a week later I was having a glass of wine with another close friend at her apartment. As we were sitting on the couch, I asked her the same thing. And her response? “You’ve started over before, wouldn’t it be fun to do it all over again?”

These two friends provided me with the permission that I couldn’t give myself—to take the leap into the unknown without the promise of a steady paycheck on the other side.

With the help of this wild idea, my gears shifted. I stopped feeling desperate and started feeling excited. I decided to take a year off of work to travel around the world. I set my sights on Southeast Asia, the Middle East, and Europe. It had been a dream of mine since I was a teenager to explore the world without a time limit, and I could feel deep inside that it was my moment to make that dream a reality. I hadn’t saved up an exorbitant amount of money to do so, but I was tired of counting and re-counting how much money I would need to make in order to continue paying rent, my bills, and have enough leftover to travel.

So, I made the fierce decision to not only let go of the security of my full-time job, but also nearly everything I owned. I broke the lease on my New York City apartment. I sold everything within that apartment. And I mean everything…someone bought my shower curtain on Facebook Marketplace for $5! Who was I to deny that the universe was pushing me in the right direction?!

Once I had crunched all the numbers, I realized that once I could get rid of all the things that cost me money, I could put aside enough to support me for at least 9 months of budget travel. I would opt for hotels and hostels while in Asia, a stay with my family while in the Middle East, and exchange stays like Trusted Housesitters and WWOOF while in Europe. Because I was so excited about this idea, I researched day and night what planning would need to take place for me to embark on this endeavor. What would the cost of groceries be in each place? Of train, plane, and bus travel? Of visas and immunizations? I hadn’t poured myself so passionately into something in so long.

Once these travel plans were put into motion, there was no turning back. There was no possibility of me staying at my job, and there was no chance I would return once I got back to the US. Letting go of most everything I owned gave me the sense that there was nothing material I needed to come back to. I had to trust in my intuition that the right opportunities would come up when I needed them, as long as I was open and ready to receive them.

One of the most challenging aspects of making this decision was building up the confidence behind it.

Would people think I’d absolutely lost my mind for blowing up my entire lifestyle?!

Would I regret leaving the comfort of a steady paycheck for a life lived in freedom and uncertainty? 

I spent the next couple months working with my therapist to tamper the fears that crept in over my decision to turn my life upside down.

What if I couldn’t find a way to make money again?

What if I fell into debt?

What if prospective employers wouldn’t take me seriously with the gap in my résumé?!

I knew many people would be asking me how I plan to pull off this circus act, especially when we are so ingrained in the US to believe we must have financial security at all times in order to be happy and successful. And while, yes, you do need some amount of money to build a life, I knew that, for myself, I needed something else to build the healthy, happy, balanced life I was seeking. 

So, with the help of my therapist and the support of my close friends and family members, the confidence didn’t take long to build. I put into practice the belief that I was doing what I was meant to do, and that the universe would reward me for following my intuition. I continued to trust that opportunities would present themselves when I needed them most.

When the day finally came for me to put in my notice at work, I was met with overwhelming support from my coworkers about the journey I was embarking on. As I began writing about my decision on Substack, I received encouragement from my readers that ignited my desire to make this year of exploration something I would share publicly through my writing. I realized I was demonstrating to others that you can do something seemingly unthinkable. That you can choose an alternative path for yourself. As another close friend put it, “others need to see to believe.” 

Sure, not everyone can take the same exact path as I did. I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I don’t own property, I am still in great health. But, if anything, I am demonstrating that you can find your own path. If your current career is leaving you miserable or unfulfilled, you can make a fierce decision.

The answer to the recurring question of “how can I quit my job” may not lie in the job search section of LinkedIn or Indeed. 

It may not lie in your current industry. It may have a lower salary or no salary at all attached to it. It may not look like my dream, and it shouldn’t–it should look like the dream you’ve always had for yourself.

After one year of being out of my corporate job, I am wrapping up my 10th month of travel. I’ve visited so many of the places I had dreamt of experiencing. I’ve gained confidence in the ease of my ability to move around the world—sometimes alone, sometimes with others. I have identified so much of what made me unhappy at my old job, and have committed to building my next career in a way that provides me with balance, fulfillment, and peace. I have committed to taking the personal growth I’ve experienced over the past year and using it to encourage others to take their own leap of faith.

If you’re desperately seeking an entire overhaul of your career, or your life, you’re not alone. I was right there with you one year ago. The solution for this feeling may not be immediately obvious, and it probably won’t be an easy decision to make. But if I can offer any advice, it would be to let yourself dream up some of the wildest scenarios of what you’ve always wanted in life. Do some soul-searching on what you need to feel happy, balanced, and successful. And, when you’re ready, reach out to those closest to you (or even me!) for support in how to make these dreams become a reality, either one step at a time, or in one giant leap into the unknown.

I, for one, have not regretted that giant leap, not even for one second.

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