Pak Mangku Ked
Letter #15: Breathe in...breathe out. My first visit to see a Balinese healer.
I’d always been curious about seeing a Balinese healer if I ever had a chance to get to Bali. Was I heavily influenced by Liz’s experience with Ketut Liyer in Eat Pray Love ? 100% (and if you know me well, you know I love this movie and I can’t believe how poorly it’s rated 🤣). But the curiosity comes more from my own desire to explore what spirituality means to me. The books I’ve read about Buddhism and the Taoist principles resonated with me, and I was eager—if apprehensive due to my own inexperience—to learn more about the spirituality of Eastern cultures.
I started by googling “Balinese healer.” It was easy to find recommendations for healers that had full blown, although rudimentary websites, with appointments you could schedule, fees for full spiritual packages(!!), and assistants helping the healers stay organized. No doubt some of them are legitimate, but certainly are catering to the tourists’ interest in Balians. So I decided to ask the homestay owner, Kadek, for a recommendation. She directed me to her brother-in-law who explained he only does energy healing through massage. I’m grateful to have a physically strong, ailment-free body, so I wasn’t looking for that type of healing—I was looking for spiritual guidance.
Next, the driver who had picked me up from the airport, Karma, messaged me that he had a recommendation for me. I reached out to Pak Mangku Ked over WhatsApp, and used Google Translate to communicate my wishes. I wasn’t actually speaking Indonesian, but I still felt cool watching the entire conversation unfold in a language I’d never seen before.
Later, a translator called me. Jana and I had an easy conversation in English, and he agreed to pick me up by scooter at 1pm. He brought me a sarong and an offering to give to Jero (the term I was to refer to Pak Mangku Ked) for the spirits. I asked what the price would be for Jero’s services + Jana’s translating and scooter ride—both were donation based. This was the real deal. The one thing I did ask for was a helmet for the scooter ride so my mom wouldn’t get mad at me. 😅
The translator asked me a lot about my life and what I wanted to ask Jero as we wound through the traffic-packed streets of Ubud. This information helped him communicate with the healer once we arrived. We had an hour drive through the beautiful Balinese countryside. Palm tree forests, rice paddies, and small villages whizzed past us on the winding roads. We talked the entire time. When we reached the healer, Jana tied the sarong around my waist and finished it with a sash that was meant to separate the negativity in my body and keep me grounded. (I may butcher my understandings of these practices, so please correct me if I get any of this wrong.) He had about 6-8 canang sari (offerings), and said I could leave my donation for Jero in the offering.
I was like a kid on the first day of school. Excited but nervous I would mess up. I’d read online that you must be modestly dressed/covered when meeting with a shaman, not to look the shaman directly in the eye, and never to point your toes forward at the shaman(!!).
The translator laughed softly at my nervous questions, and assured me all I needed to do was be open, honest, and relaxed. That was a relief because I can be open and honest all day long. 🤣
Jero’s home was beautiful, surrounded by lush, tropical gardens with a stunning family temple in the center. What you see in Eat Pray Love? Yes, it’s like that. I met his wife and his mother. (During the session, the translator sometimes referred to Jero as “they” and “their”, and other times as “he”, and I wondered if a spiritual leader is not gendered. I did correct myself as we continued.)
I was with the shaman for 2-3 hours. I had zero concept of time, but it didn’t feel short. It was very personal and private, and would be too long for me to share every single detail—also acknowledging my own inexperienced depiction of what we explored—but I will highlight my biggest takeaways. We sat across from each other on a mat, meditating off and on, with Jero communicating with the spirits and ancestors.
Jero said my purpose in life is to help others, that I also am a healer. I resonated strongly with that—as I was leaving my job, I knew I wanted to do some good in the world. And in the last three months, since I am no longer stressed at work, overwhelmed with life and money and lack of time, I am much more able to show up for the people I love. I now have tons of meaningful conversations where we can really dive to the bottom of things and come out with new perspectives and approaches. If one of the ways I can help others heal is just by being a good friend, then the shaman was absolutely right.
The second biggest takeaway is when they spoke about nature. I was asked if, when I meditate, do I visit the savannah? At first I thought they were asking if I’d been to the savannah in Africa, but nope, that was not the question. I said “well I go to a valley surrounded by woods, it looks like the landscape where I grew up in the Midwest.” And they both go “yes, yes! The savannah!” I told them I also meet my dog, Coogs, there, who passed away in March 2018. They said I need to be in nature, connected to nature. That I knew I was on the wrong path in life, and now I am searching for the right path, starting in Bali.
Of course I cried on and off during the time I was with them. I felt very seen, that the overwhelming emotions I had had in the past few years that I needed to leave my old life were valid. I love New York City. Genuinely LOVE it. But I had been aching to be surrounded by nature. My fondest memories of childhood are of myself and my brother, Clint, running around outside from morning until evening. The overstimulation of city life and a stressful job had me drinking too much, eating too much, and numbing myself with Netflix/HBO/Hulu…you name it. I wasn’t just “unhappy for no reason.” My unhappiness was sound, and I gave myself the gift of changing it by walking away.
The final takeaway is I asked why it’s taken so long to find my person (a la Eat Pray Love). They said I had had a soulmate, but we didn’t quite “click”. That I’ve had many “friends”, but they never quite “clicked”. That is 100% true. They gave me a timeline and it feels like too much pressure to put it into writing 😂, but told me not to go looking for it. Focus on my daily meditation and practice gratitude EVERY SINGLE DAY for being alive and healthy. My soulmate will show up in the right place, at the right time, when I’m fully aligned. The beautiful part about meditating daily? I get to see Soulmate Coogs every day in our little spot in the valley. ❤️
Side Note: The funniest thing about this is I was oddly attracted to the shaman. They were not at all like Elizabeth Gilbert’s Ketut. I was embarrassed and also cracking up at myself. Wouldn’t they be able to read this nervous energy I was giving off?! 🙈 I digress…
They left me with a lesson on how I should meditate every day (I am happy to share the process if you’re interested in hearing about it, I’m still very new to it), a blessing with a small string of yarn tied around my right wrist, and an image of our time together. As we parted, he grasped my hands so I could feel his energy.
I was overcome with gratitude for the experience. None of it felt rushed or calculated. Jana took me on the scooter to meet his family and see his small farm and ancestral land, and we had dinner together, talking about the differences in our cultures. My brain was overflowing with new information, and doing my best to overcome the language barriers, that I was absolutely spent by the time I reached the hotel, nearly 6 hours later.
I texted Pak Mangku Ked over WhatsApp the next day that I completed my first daily meditation. He responded in Indonesian “Semoga energi anda bertambah baik.” “Hope your energy is getting better.” It definitely was.
If you want any further details about the experience, or will be in Bali and would like to meet with the real deal, please reach out to me! Pak Mangku Ked and Jana both gave me permission to share photos, details, and their contact information so that others may experience the beauty of traditional Balinese healing. The Balinese people are very generous with their time and teaching others about their culture, so if this is something that interests you, I highly recommend opening your heart and being ready to receive.
Hey! Would you like to connect over creativity, self-growth, and problem-solving? Or just to have a virtual glass of wine or mocktail? Please book a time on my Calendly for us to chat! I can’t wait to see you. XOXO.
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So powerful!! Thank you 🙏🏽.
What an amazing post, so nice to get an insight into your experiences with a shaman, and your recommendations :D thank you :D x