PURE JOY

Letter #60: And, now, technically Article #2 for Write of Passage. A story I've been thinking about lately that makes me really happy...

I can think of no other place I’d rather be than laughing my head off in a packed New York City restaurant with my best friends. The ability to become so blissfully unaware and so happy together is a gift.

We met one Saturday evening for Leslie’s birthday at a sushi restaurant in Brooklyn. We began our dinner conversation by agreeing on which rolls to order, who would split a bottle of red (always me, sometimes Ally), and who would split a bottle white (always Leslie, always Hilary). Then we’d transition into catching up on the latest news from the week—work drama, family drama, news of the men in our lives. We’d talk through the things we struggled with, but eventually the tone of the conversation would lighten up.

It wasn’t long until the first mocking came out—Leslie cracks a joke at Hilary and I chime in, recalling the time she fumbled an entire pot of homemade chicken noodle soup, dumping it down the cracks and crevices of our stove. We teased Leslie for having worn this perfect, vintage white blouse with ruffles all down the front, of which we dubbed the Puffy Shirt from Seinfeld. We’d egg each other on, creating new one-liners as our banter ping-ponged back and forth. I was thrown into a fit of tears, my mouth open so wide with guttural laughter that my face began to hurt. Our voices rose and the laughter became harder to control.

Were we causing a scene? Sure. But I didn’t care because that moment with my best friends is how I experience pure joy. I could’ve stayed in that restaurant with them forever.

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Society encourages us to live scripted lives. Our days are structured with maximum productivity. How much money are we making? Are we eating healthy? Are we exercising? How much can we fit into the day to become the most optimal versions of ourselves?

When I succumb to the pressure of optimizing my productivity, I tend to leave out the joy. I abstain from many of the things I love. I shop only for produce at the grocery store, and leave the pint of Ben & Jerry’s alone. The local wine store misses my presence. I go to bed by 9pm every night, waking up for a strenuous 6am workout. I stay around home, alone, and spend little money.

If I died tomorrow, would I die happy knowing I was a perfectly well-behaved human being, productive in every sense? Absolutely not. But if I went after a night out with my best friends, where everything else just fades into the background as we bring out the most carefree versions of ourselves, I would feel content knowing that was how I spent my last day.

Do you know what that pure joy is for you? 

That joy tends to be simple. It’s often not something you can buy. It occurs in the places or with the people you love. Prioritizing time for your pure joy is just as important in maintaining a healthy, happy life. And so my challenge for you today is to bring that opportunity for pure joy to the forefront of your busy schedule.

And since I should be taking my own advice, I’m about to schedule the next dinner with my best friends right after this post. 😉

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Hey! Would you like to connect over creativity, self-growth, and problem-solving? Or just to have a virtual glass of wine or mocktail? Please book a time on my Calendly for us to chat! I can’t wait to see you. XOXO.

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