Scooters in Bali
Letter #18: I am terrified to drive a scooter in SE Asia. And I'm learning more about what it means to visit a "developing" country.
2/22/23
I’ve hardly had time to write because I’ve been with people constantly. This week has been a test of my growth as I decided to rent a scooter. It was way harder to maneuver than I’d anticipated. I’d used a scooter a couple times in Brooklyn and once in the Philippines, and I’ve cycled all over New York City, so how hard could this possbily be? I thought I’d pick it up immediately, but it was actually terrifying. The traffic here is like an artistic form of chaos—minute 3 of this video gives you a pretty good idea of what it’s like. There is no order, there are no rules, and so much to pay attention to that I was shaking and sweating after my first practice run to go take cash out at an ATM. Did I almost crash and/or tip over? Yes, like 3 times in a 10 minute ride. I quickly sunk down into my insecurity, my anxiety rising around my inability to hack it as a world traveler. That’s the ridiculous thing about anxiety—I’ve already proven that I can travel to many different countries solo. So why did one activity make me retreat back into my turtle shell (AKA my private room at Draper) where I proceeded to Google videos on how to get better at driving a scooter? 😑 I felt for certain I’d have to throw in the towel.
I promised myself the next day I would practice on a quieter street a little more before deciding if I’d be using a scooter for anymore of my SE Asia travel. But the following day, I avoided my newfound scooter fear, staying at Draper and “working”, ordering delivery food by using Grab (it’s like Uber and Uber Eats for SE Asia) instead of venturing out. When dinner time rolled around, Lara, Catarina and I decided to go out together. It would’ve been silly for us to hire a driver when Catarina and I both had scooters, so I agreed to drive. Here come the shakes again. But driving to La Torre was way better than I had imagined! In the evening, the traffic was a fraction what it was during the day, and the restaurant was only 3 minutes away. 😆 I made it there and back confidently, feeling SUPER proud of myself as I settled into bed.
So I decided to try it again the next day. I drove a straight shot into the heart of Canggu for some more bikini shopping (yes I FINALLY found one for 200K, which is $12.96 🤯). I didn’t even have to turn the bike around to head back, as the shop owner had moved it for me while I was walking around. HA! A happy surprise. I slipped easily back into traffic without having to attempt a U-turn that likely would’ve tipped me over. Oh, did I mention the driving is on the opposite side of the road from the US? That’s really the only rule I observed and even still that rule was broken constantly.
When I arrived safely back at Draper, I had a wave of energy and empowerment from improving on my new skill. I showered and jammed out to BEY to pump me up for the BEYONCÉ dance class the girls and I would be taking later—which was equally as empowering! A room full of beautiful, sweaty girls, cheering each other on as we choreographed a dance as best as possible to I’M THAT GIRL.
Meeting so many solo travelers, all of them trying new things and exploring different lifestyles helps build my own confidence. My social calendar is almost too full with all the invites from friends at Tribal and Draper, that I’m beginning to crave my alone time again. I need to catch up on my reading and writing!
But I’m changing. I have the opportunity to meet travelers from all over the place (mostly from EU & UK), hear about their dreams and projects and love lives, and offer support and encouragement. This is helping me find a new way of traveling that I was previously afraid of trying. Not many things scare me—jumping into deep oceans, going to house parties where I don’t know anyone, and presenting at work—are all things I can overcome. But driving a scooter felt out of my league. The action, the backdrop, and the rules were all so foreign to me. I’ve had to have some serious self-affirming conversations to remind myself how far I’ve come, and that I am not the same woman that got off the plane in Ngurah Rai International Airport on February 4th, 2023.
TOPIC SHIFT
Before coming to Bali I had a session with my therapist. We had accomplished so much together that our final sessions were just the cherry on top. I expressed that I was a little nervous about feeling sad or uncomfortable traveling to developing countries alone. And she gave me some amazing advice. She said something along the lines of…
“Remember to experience these places without the use of your Western filter. Remove from your mind how things ‘ought to be’, and be open and accepting of how things actually are. That will surely allow you to connect authentically with locals and other travelers, and find the natural beauty in each place."
I knew I wouldn’t be able to do this perfectly—it is VERY difficult to un-know what you’ve always known and un-expect what you’ve always expected—but now I had a tool. And this tool is essential to finding comfort when traveling to foreign, developing countries.
When meeting other Westerners, desperate to share in the collective “this is gross, right?”, sometimes we are drawn to comment on the accumulating trash on the streets, the lack of sidewalks, and the dilapidated state of buildings/vehicles/roads. The hotel bathrooms smell a bit like sewage and the urban streams are brown, carrying trash into the ocean. The oceans wash the trash back up onto the beaches that we so desperately want to lounge on and take the best Instagram pics ever. But in a country like Indonesia where the average yearly salary in Bali is under $13,000 USD…where is all that trash supposed to go? And this average doesn’t even include rural people where labor regulations are harder to track. In developed, industrial countries, we pay high taxes on our higher salaries, and in turn, receive dependable infrastructure. Whether you agree or not with how your government spends your tax dollars is another story, but regardless we can count on decent, clean, and safe systems.
Very rarely will you hear me complain about paying taxes. If anything, I’d be happy to pay higher taxes in exchange for some changes in the US, but I won’t get into that now. No, it’s not fun to see a huge portion of my paycheck disappear into the ether, but I also will acknowledge that we have somewhat proper garbage & recycling programs, decent roads, sanitation systems, and clean tap water (unless you’re in one of the several US states right now that is dealing with contaminated water and restricted access to clean drinking water). Rather than commenting “how can people live like this?!” I’m trying to remove my Western judgements and expectations to appreciate each place as it is, and admire the strength and tenacity it takes for the residents to survive—and at times thrive—in conditions we tend to frown down upon. I am witnessing an incredibly hard-working people, exposed to oppressive heat and humidity, that are family-oriented and generous to strangers. The perfect example that you can do a lot with a little.
Do the laundry services look at all organized? No, and maybe a bit unsanitary. But my laundry comes back smelling fresh, neatly folded, and costs under $2 for 5 days of sweaty clothing. The one exception being Laundry Hub by Draper Startup House. Apparently the Draper folks say don’t go there because they have the same logo as a porn site, but I really shouldn’t have gone there as my clothes came back smelling like a wet dog. 😵💫
But why would any of ‘us’ complain when we get to experience this place at a mere fraction of the price we’d pay to visit one of the many paradises in the West? The people in Indonesia have built a beautiful culture and are generous enough to share it with foreigners, many of whom will never be afforded the same luxury to travel outside their country, much less even outside Bali. Think about that for a moment. Never having the means to even leave your state. And certainly not your country. In other words, shut it and practice gratitude.
I had 2 mediocre meals the entire month I was in Bali. At 2-3 meals a day for roughly 30 days, that’s approx. 73 amazing meals I’ve had in Bali (please don’t check the math on that). And I’ve spent under $100 on food for an entire month. The food is healthy, fresh, and not processed. I haven’t felt this good in years.
I tend to have culture shock everywhere I go, even from New York back to the Midwest. I’m a sensitive person and WAY too observant of my surroundings. But this year I am committed to growing accustomed to life in other cultures around the world, no matter how rich or poor that country is. I actually don’t prefer traveling in “rich” countries—they’re too expensive and sometimes the heritage is “erased” and replaced with modern buildings and conveniences. I’d rather see a “real” place in person than read about it in a museum. But let this be a reminder that ‘we’ do not always know best. There are cultures that have been around thousands of years before America as we know it today. Many of the people in these cultures live longer, have a healthier life balance, experience less crime, and overall have a better quality of life. You know what’s interesting? I never saw a single homeless person while in Bali. Jana, the translator who scooted me around Ubud, explained that the Balinese people take care of each other. No matter how little your family has, you can always come up with more to feed and shelter one more person. Mental illness and disabilities still exist here, but the individuals living with them are not shut out. The Hindu-practicing Balinese people will not hurt, kill, or steal from others. They believe that everyone’s spirit is part of the universe, part of them, part of their ancestors. I felt safer in Bali than in the US where we do very seriously need to worry about gun violence and mass shootings.
I’m incredibly grateful to be American and exposed to so much diversity in my own backyard, but I will run head on into the exploration of other cultures. I will continue to reject any xenophobic rhetoric that keeps me from building a rich understanding of life that is patchworked together by the realities of others. And I’ll do so with an open heart and an open mind, continuing to share what I’m learning along the way. ❤️
Visiting New York? I just made an “HK’s favorites” guide to share with Portland Helen & Casey for their April visit. And Taiwan Chloe will be there in April too! So please save this if you’ll be traveling there.. I’ll continue to add some favorites as I think of them. Likewise, if you have specific things you want to do, LMK and I can give you some custom recommendations. Making this list made me realize why I ate and drank so much in New York 🫠…this city has the BEST OF THE BEST!
Hey! Would you like to connect over creativity, self-growth, and problem-solving? Or just to have a virtual glass of wine or mocktail? Please book a time on my Calendly for us to chat! I can’t wait to see you. XOXO.
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One of my favorite letters yet! ❤️ this was so beautifully written and thoughtful. Miss ya!!!! Xoxo
A little emotional reading that Heather, thank you.
Couldn't have said it better....beautiful words giving a sense of perspective from our Western worlds.
XxXxXx
See you around someday hopefully, always welcome in England / Denmark x